Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman - Jon Krakauer, 2009

I love Krakauer and I'll read anything he puts out; if this book hadn't been by him I probably would have leafed through it, but not read every word. Although I preferred his other books as great narrative non-fiction, because Where Men Win Glory was easier to put down, I think it will linger longer in my mind (Under the Banner of Heaven does too, but for different reasons).

Of the many interesting people Krakauer has profiled, Pat Tillman is the first real hero. I didn't know much about him before reading this book, and had made some fallacious assumptions based on the thumbnail description I'd read: NFL pro enlists after 9/11, is killed in Afghanistan, and the reason for his death is covered up. Krakauer promises that "the real Pat Tillman was much more remarkable, and considerably more complicated, than the fiction sold to the public," and he delivers on that promise. Tillman was not flawless, but he was both admirable and grounded, traits Krakauer's previous subjects haven't had in combination.

Most people are content to "believe in" values or ideas without examining too closely whether they ought to take actions to live out those values or ideas. That wasn't good enough for Tillman. I disagree with his conclusion that war can be necessary, and that Afghanistan after 9/11 was a place where it needed to be fought, but I respect his decision to act on what he believed--especially because he consistently challenged his own beliefs and those of others. I felt a kinship for Tillman growing as the book progressed; I would have loved to pick apart premises and implications with him, despite the macho side of his personality (his belief in honor reminded me of the Southern culture described in Gladwell's Outliers). A friend of his (who later got him in touch with Noam Chomsky--they never got a chance to meet, alas) reports talking with him when he was deciding to join the army:

"Are you sure about this? Are you ready to serve under a president you don't really support?" But he thought he owed it to the country to really do something after 9/11. I think he felt he could stay above the politics, somehow, and just do his duty as a patriot... With Pat, if his conscience told him he should do something, he did it, no excuses. He just made it happen as well as he possibly could.

Once enlisted, Tillman had serious doubts about the methods and goals of the military, but he felt committed to his decision. For the same reasons he'd abandoned a lucrative NFL contract and a comfortable life, he refused to participate in the propaganda machine. He knew his story would be catnip to the conservative movement, but he was not a part of it and did not want to give them fodder.

Krakauer goes into excruciating (to me, excessive) detail about the events leading to Tillman's tragic death by friendly fire. There doesn't appear to be anything nefarious about his demise--just a classic FUBAR situation of crossed signals, hasty decisions, pressure from supervisors to meet artificial benchmarks, and sheer bad luck. But the original cover-up was motivated by propaganda at the highest level, and as each investigation results in another cover-up, it becomes unbearably disgusting. If it were not for the dogged persistence of Pat's mother, and the light his celebrity could bring to bear, the truth would never have come out.

On the form where soldiers discuss their funeral preferences before deploying, Tillman specifically said "I do not want the military to have any direct involvement with my funeral." Despite the detailed picture Krakauer draws of his personality over hundreds of pages, it was a pleasant shock to discover near the end of the book that Tillman was a nonbeliever:

During his time on earth, he wrote in his journal while serving in Iraq, he wanted to "do good, influence lives, show truth and right." He believed it was important to "have faith in oneself" and to aspire to "a general goodness free of religious pretensions...I think I understand that religious faith with makes the holy brave and strong; my strength is just somewhere else--it's in myself...I do not fear what awaits me, though I'm equally confident that nothing awaits."

Disbelief in an afterlife is so rare in the US that before Krakauer specifically discussed it, it wouldn't have occured to me that Tillman and I shared that as well; an officer charged with one of the investigations, Lt. Colonel Kauzlarich, had the gall to say that the Tillmans would "never be satisfied" with the outcome because they were not Christians. Frequently I feel regret that someone can't see how much people love them as demonstrated after they die (Alex Chilton most recently). But I'm glad Tillman cannot know the tragic way his life ended, and worse, be tormented by the way his convictions and motivations were betrayed by the unworthy institution for which he sacrificed himself. Rest in peace, Pat.